real talk

Ok, lets I'm going to get real right now and talk about an issue that as hit me, my friends here and basically anybody who has been home far away (abroad or not).
Homesickness.

Back in April of 2012 all before I knew anything about Sweden and before all the crazy awkward moments happened, I was in San Francisco State at a meeting to basically know How-to-Study-Abroad. (I think I have mentioned this meeting place before, but the people I was talking to said a lot to make my brain think).
I was talking to one of the guys and told him that I was worried about being homesick. He immediately told me that I was not going to be homesick and that when I come back, I would want to return to Sweden immediately.
The first part got me thinking but the second part was totally true. (Like I don't want to think about leaving here- I'm sorry family- and I still don't want to talk about it)
But let's return to the first part, I wasn't going to be homesick.
Know after 20 1/2 years of knowing myself I always knew I was an independent person and did things my own way with of course the little mishaps in between, but I mean, not ever being homesick? That was a little weird to me.
I didn't officially feel homesick until Thanksgiving/Christmas.
Living in the states for so long, I'm always used to having 3 days off for Thanksgiving and 3 weeks off for Christmas. Well when I didn't have Thanksgiving off, it was weird.
I mean I know Europe doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, but when you carry on a tradition for so long and then all of a sudden stop....it's a little weird. I was in Barcelona the days before, so technically I was on vacation but I returned the night before Thanksgiving and remembered that I had class. I looked at my friend that I was with and told her, and she looked at me and said
 "Oh man, I'm sorry"
Me: No, you don't understand...it's Thanksgiving tomorrow. I have class on Thanksgiving
Friend: Oh yeah! It's Thanksgiving tomorrow!
Weirdest realization there, so I drank some sangria to help.
Luckily I did get through it with baking and hanging out with friends.
But let me just say one thing.
IT'S OK TO BE HOMESICK.
It's totally normal. There's nothing weird about being homesick. It doesn't mean that you can't be away from home or that you are dependent on your family. It's something that just comes naturally like happiness or sadness. It just happens.
Since I've been here, I have had moments where I have been homesick. I miss laying on my couch with a cup of coffee in my hand and watching Cupcake Wars while my mom does laundry.
I sometimes miss waking up in my bed angrily because my neighbor mows the lawn at 8AM during the summertime and weekends.
There are times where I miss venturing out to Chipotle and stuffing my face with a fat burrito and then regretting it later on my couch.
Or having some me time at La Boulange Cafe and only going there for the really cute barista and then getting excited inside when he hands me my bowl of latte with a heart shaped foam and then taking that as a sign, but then realizing that he does it to all the rest of the customers and then I eat my feelings in my BLT.
But through all that homesickness, I realize where I am and what I've done. I mean, yes, there are days when its muggy and I chose to sit in my room with a cup of coffee and watch Parks & Recreation or 30 Rock for the fifth time and not go out. But then I tell ask myself, when will I ever watch these shows in my Flogsta room and look out the window to see trees and clouds?
And there are days where I'm with my friends and we end up talking about how much we miss home and all the things we used to do and I know it's probably not healthy for us, mentally, but it's a nice reminder of how much we care about our home. But on the flip side of this, I learn what people do with their families and what traditions they have or what life is like in their home, so through that sad moment you learn a lot about people and who they are.
So it's totally fine to be homesick.
Now that a new semester has started I see all these new students come in and get adjusted to life here, and it reminds me of my first day in Sweden and how overwhelming it is. So if any new students are reading, this, if at any time you feel homesick or having a bad day, just remember that it's ok to feel this way sometimes. It's ok to have bad days and miss home. Everyone goes through with it in their life.
But, don't let that homesickness ruin your day, month or year. Take a day to yourself, talk to people, do something that you like to do, have some me time and then the next day do something different or go have a cup of coffee with someone. It makes things better and helps you grow as a person.

Real talk.